3 reasons why defending yourself can destroy you and your business

People will attack

The truth is if you choose to shine brightly, inevitably the darkness will try to extinguish your light. Your growth and progress makes some people feel uncomfortable because it forces them to reflect upon their own lives. But the majority of these people aren’t pleased with what they find.

Rather than making adjustments, these same people settle for an easier strategy. They prefer to attack you instead.

This tactic enables them to reject change and stay the same. Subconsciously they hope their attacks illicit an emotionally charged response. If they succeed, this provides them with a sense of achievement—albeit a negative one.

Although you can’t control whether or not people will attack you, the one thing you can control is your response.


In this episode, I unpack the 3 reasons why defending yourself can destroy you and your business. (Listen to this episode via itunesaudioboom, or stitcher)



You will respond

Human nature tempts us to meet their attack with a counterattack. After all, we have a right to exert our power—don’t we? Although such rationalizations may seem justified, when we succumb to their subpar strategies, we exchange our larger vision for a small story instead.

Weak people defend, but strong people exercise restraint.

Consider Jesus’ trial, as he stood before Pontius Pilate. Rather than defending himself, he chose silence instead. This response only angered the official.

He asked, “Do you refuse to speak to me? Don’t you realize I have the power either to free you or to crucify you?”

Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.”

His response ripped through Pilate and even changed his behavior. The Gospel says, “From then on Pilate tried to set Jesus free.”

Defending will destroy

Remember, you have a mission. Achieving this mission requires your full focus. When you defend yourself it produces three negative outcomes that threatens to destroy you and your business:

  • (1) Distractions

Defending distracts you from your mission. Rather than advancing, you settle for sideways energy instead. You clog up your creativity and pause your productivity. This only bolters your haters and equips your critics. Your opponents inflict a serious blow by distracting you from the work in front of you.

  • (2) Discouragement

Defending discourages you. Rather than spending time serving your clients, you spend time battling your enemies. As someone who enjoys helping others, instead you end up hoping to hurt your opponents. This exchange takes a toll, wearing down your stamina and morale.

  • (3) Defeat

Defending defeats you. Although it typically won’t happen overnight, the cumulative effect of defending yourself will eventually weaken you. It will weaken your resolve or your results. At first you won’t notice it. But after time you’ll stop pursuing how to achieve your mission and start pursuing how to debate your adversaries.

When this takes place you and your legacy are done. Instead of functioning as a servant who spreads a message you function as a soldier who shoots down his or her enemies.

You’re more than attacks designed to destroy you. Therefore, don’t defend and stay focused. You have a mission to achieve.

Need Clarity? 

Clarity is an amazing gift. It’s the first step in what we call The Deeper Path Payoff. Notice the process:

Clarity => Competence => Confidence => Influence => Impact => Income

Free Deeper Path Book

If you want your time to count then you must count your time. You must wake up to the fact that life is too short to waste time defending yourself.

Over a decade ago, I sought out distractions on a regular basis, including the need to defend myself.. Truth be told, I used them to numb my pain. Thankfully, I woke up to the fact that numbing my pain was also numbing my potential.

At that same time, I met a man named Chet Scott who helped me break free from my addiction to distractions. He showed me a process in which I authored my OPUS.

O = Over-arching Vision

P = Purpose

U = Unifying Strategies

S = Scorecard for Significance

I took that Deeper Path and put pen to paper. I emerged with clarity for the first time in my life. (Read my OPUS by clicking the image.)


Clarity keeps you from needing to defend yourself

To this day, my OPUS guides me toward clarity and away from defending myself. I refer to it on a daily basis—after all we each make 35,000 decisions a day. Unless we have a built-in filter we’ll burn out.

Want to author your OPUS? I think it’s the best tool to find the clarity and courage to steer clear of distractions. The Deeper Path will open you up to a new way and a new world. I bought you a FREE copy and I’ve included the Purpose Assessment with each order. All I ask is that you cover a small fee for shipping and handling.

All the details are here, but we only have a limited supply. Grab your FREE copy today and stop wasting time defending yourself.

===> Send me my FREE book <===

Free Deeper Path Book


About The Author

Kary Oberbrunner

KARY OBERBRUNNER is a Wall Street Journal and USA Today Best-Selling Author and CEO of Igniting Souls Publishing Agency, a global company that runs on EOS. Its core focus is helping people write, publish, and market their books the right way and turn them into 18 streams of income. He’s an award-winning author of ten books, a screenwriter, and he’s been featured in Entrepreneur, CBS, Fox News, Yahoo, and many other major media outlets. As a young man, he suffered from severe stuttering, depression, and self-injury. Today a transformed man, Kary ignites souls. As an international speaker, he loves topics that capture his heart and mind such as: leadership, personal growth, human performance, blockchain technology, and entrepreneurship. As a futurist and host of the Blockchain Life podcast, he often consults on marketing, branding, IP, and NFTs. He has several earned degrees including a Bachelor of Arts, Masters in Divinity, and Doctorate in Transformational Leadership. He lives in Ohio with his family.

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